"If I don't do it, who will?": FAQ

Here's answers to some questions before you even ask them. Anything I miss? Let me know. I'll answer it.

Is this story for real?

Absolutely. This is a picture of my siblings and me back in 1986.

Jennifer's on the left, Brian's on top and Timothy's on the bottom. If you can zoom in on Tim's face you'd be able to see he's wearing earpieces and a body aid, which was a much more common hearing aid style in the less-technology advanced '80s. If you've seen Mr. Holland's Opus, it's the same hearing aid Cole wears as a child, with a small box held in a pouch on a harness worn on the torso. Brian isn't wearing his because his hearing loss is so severe that a hearing aid makes little difference for him. This is something that has affected my life since I was born.

So what is the story you tell people when they ask?

It goes a little something like this:

“Both of my brothers are Deaf. My older brother and younger brother were both born Deaf. My sister and I are hearing, as are my parents, and all of us know sign language. They are the only Deaf people in my whole extended family.”

Okay, it's not quite two minutes long, but at this point people are generally engrossed and skip to their patented response anyway.

I can, indeed, relay this story in French and ASL as well.

How were your brothers born Deaf?

Strictly through genetics. Both my parents have a chromosome that carries the recessive Deaf gene and passed it on unknowingly. How it skipped over my older sister and me is purely through chance and circumstance. I have a large extended family and Brian and Tim are the only members who are Deaf. This whole situation is miraculous unto itself. All 6 of us participated in a study through Gallaudet University to see how the gene traveled. After a simple blood test it has been identified in both my sister and me, giving our potential offspring a 50% chance of being born Deaf. There are many congenital conditions that cause Deafness but the one most likely affecting Brian and Tim is a poor connection between the cochlea of the ear, which translates sounds into electrical impulses the brain can read, and the Auditory Nerve. Between the two of them, Brian and Tim have roughly 20% the hearing of an average person (Tim 15%, Brian 5%).

Can they hear anything?

Yes, but only very loud and very low frequencies. During their adolescence both Brian and Tim experimented with rap music with its booming bass lines. There's a famous family story where Brian and Tim took the family van to drive a few errands and Jennifer was out on the front lawn when they were driving back to the house. Jennifer could see both their heads bobbing rhythmically to some deliberate beat, looking at each other in silent recognition, heads nodding at exactly the same time. They parked the van and went inside the house. Jennifer just had to know what they were listening to so she went into the house to get the van keys and turned on the radio. The only thing that came out the speakers was static, loud hissing static. It's a great little story and I couldn't tell you what quotient of it is absolutely true, but it's a nice illustration of what kind of trials and tribulations Brian and Tim have had in the Hearing World.

In winter of 2006 Tim underwent surgery and received two Cochlear Implants which changed his and our whole perception of his Deafness. This is a very hot topic in the Deaf World which will be dealt with in detail later.

How did you learn how to sign?

I am a native signer. I have not had a conscious day of my life when I didn't know sign language. When Brian was born and was diagnosed as Deaf, my parents took it upon themselves to learn the language and everything else they could to understand Brian. You'd be surprised at how much of a rarity it is for families to do this nowadays. So, when Jennifer was born she was taught to sign and took to it so easily she began signing before she was speaking, leading some to think she was Deaf as well. When I was growing up I remember we had a collection of Signed English Fairy Tale books. Stories like “Three Billy Goats Gruff” and “Little Red Riding Hood” were printed with large pictures, very simple sentences, and illustrations of a person showing the sign for each word in Signed English. Every day, at every meal, every TV show, every public outing, every Sunday at Church, we were signing something. When I was in college I had completed my Language Requirement early and had some room for electives. University of Iowa is well-known in the country for a strong ASL Language program, so I decided to take classes there to brush up on my signing. Say this with me: ASL and Signed English are not the same language. Three semesters of ASL classes and two years working as a Teacher's Aide for mentally ill Deaf children helped boost my signing to very skilled proportions.

Jennifer, however, has had no formal training and her signing kicks my erudite ass. You think I'm good? She'll make you weep, she's so incredible.

Have you ever interpreted? Are you an interpreter?

Yes, I have interpreted countless times, some for pay but mostly not, however I am not a Certified ASL Interpreter.

Why not?

Stupid, isn't it? A natural talent in something so missing from our culture, yet I have not gone and exploited this resource. I've tried. I looked into Interpreter courses and researched the Testing Battery for certification. Even with my already-present ability, it would take a good 1-1/2 to 2 years of classes and preparation and three expensive tests before I receive a document telling me that the State recognizes that I can speak to/for the Deaf. For what I want to do with my life this hasn't appeared as a viable option. Without any hesitation I will sign for anyone Deaf at any time in any situation, and I use my signing most every day. I don't feel any need to wait for any Government to give me clearance to do that.

You sound bitter. Do you have any issues with this whole Deaf thing?

For the record, I am a deeply sarcastic person. A lot of my humor comes with my being inappropriate for the moment. This makes it difficult for many people to know when I'm being on the level with them. However, yes, there is a bit of bitterness written into that story. After talking with thousands of people and sharing stories about childhood, I've realized that my time growing up was uniquely different from just about everyone I knew. They look at me and consider me well-adjusted and compassionate. I look at them and consider them normal. And many times in my life I wished I was just normal.

I have lots of issues with the whole Deaf thing, all of which I want to confront and clear up in the process of writing this.

Why did you take offense at people calling you “cool” for knowing sign language?

Take a look at it from my point of view: If I didn't know this language, this whole lifestyle, I wouldn't be able to speak to or understand 1/3 of my family. I didn't choose this, it became me. Yes, it's cool to flaunt at the beginning but after a couple years you begin to wonder why people look upon this with such novelty. Is it cool to learn how to share, so much so that you'll stop and stare every time someone splits a sandwich with a friend? How excited do you get when you observe an immigrant testing their strained English on someone? Besides that, none of this has been easy. I make it look easy because it's natural to me, but nothing about this has been a cakewalk. The years of ostracism, the steady piercing stares, the lifelong guilt, the constant conscienciousness of the situation; all of this and then some reduced to someone calling you “cool”. I don't do this to be cool. I do this because there's no other way for it to be done.

I'm not nearly as bitter about this anymore, but I retain some skepticism. I'm much more open to the idea that any kind of awareness, even wide-eyed shock and awe, is still awareness and it's a good thing I can deliver it. But I'm always curious about why some people get involved in Deaf Culture when they don't have as direct a link as mine. “What made you want to interpret?” “Why are you teaching the Deaf?” Why do you bear the weight of this voluntarily when I was born with the responsibility? Shit like that fascinates me.

Do you ever wish your brothers could hear?

Yes. I used to, often, but not really much anymore. Above all else, it would make life so much easier. Basic daily communication aside, it would have really helped with searches for schools, trying to find a job, overall social skills. I don't wish for them to be hearing now. The shock of suddenly being able to hear everything would boomerang them backwards into silence. Even Tim turns off his Cochlear Implants because the sounds give him a headache.

On the flip side, Brian has told us all that he wishes we were all Deaf.

Will you teach me some signs?

Sure, I could. I'm usually not in the mindspace to do so, but if you catch me with some idle time I'd be happy to show you some conversational signs, mostly pertaining to what you like and what you do. I don't give formalized lessons, though, so it's up to you to remind me. If you take the time to think about it, you'll realize sign language is really a more focused form of pantomime. If you can act it out and express your emotions freely, you can say it to a Deaf person. Start with sports. I'll bet you'll come up with the natural signs for “baseball”, “bowling”, and “fishing” without thinking twice.

If you're really serious about pursing this as more than a novelty, I can direct you to a number of resources much more knowledgeable and less restrictive than me. Some of then are even free.

If you just want to know the dirty words, don't worry. We'll cover all that soon.