03 January 2009

Monologue: A Cup Of Coffee

Honey! Honey! Quick, turn on the news!
(grabs a chair and sits down)
Have you heard yet? Oh, it was amazing!... Shh! Quiet, quiet! Here it is! (stares at imaginary television) There! There's me! See me?... There's the kid. Yeah! No, it's true. It's all true. It was amazing, it all happened so fast. I wasn't even thinking. It was like a reaction, like an instinct, y'know? I just... did it. Oh honey, sit down, I gotta tell ya all about it! (adjusts chair to be more conversational with wife)
So, I'm workin' at the site, right? And you know we're putting up that new hotel, that 900- room deal right next to the stadium downtown. And this camera crew from Channel 4 Neighborhood News comes by this morning and they're filmin' the site, 'cause this hotel's gonna be, like, the hugest in the state or something. It's big. So they're settin' up all their stuff and there's lights and camera and wires everywhere and I'm on the ground mixing concrete, and I can't do my job good 'cause every time I stir, my ass bumps into this huge ('scuse my French) lamp the set up right behind me. And those suckers get hot! Jeez! I think I gotta hole back there, you may gotta fix.
But anyway, so I'm tryin' to work and this crew's comin' 'round askin' the guys on the site what they think the hotel's gonna mean to the community. I'm tryin' to work without burnin' my ass and this broad in a suit and this guy with a camera for a head come up to me and she shoves a microphone in my face and she says, “Do you think this hotel's a good thing for the city?” And you know me, honey, I ain't the most eloquent speaker in the world, so I clam up 'cause I don't know what to say and I don't wanna sound stupid or nothin', but I gotta say somethin', so I just open my mouth and I say, “Yeah, It's a good thing. Keeps me workin', keeps my kids fed, keeps my wife in fancy clothes, and maybe more people'll come see the Blackcats play some roundball.” Yeah, sounded pretty good to me, too. The broad liked it, too. So, we got done, they thanked me, and they moved on to the next guy.
So they get done interviewin' a bunch of the guys and they give us a huge thank you and start packin' up their stuff. And it's about 10 now and I haven't had a cup of coffee all mornin', and I'm gettin' dog-tired. So I tells Jack to make sure the cement don't set and I head off to the cart to get some coffee. And this is where it all happens, honey. Ya better sit down 'cause here it comes.
Okay, so I'm going to the cart for some coffee and you know that cart's right by Shepard Street, and you know how busy that street gets. So I'm walkin' to the cart, and I see this little kid, gotta be only about four or five, playin' with a ball by the curb all by hisself. And I'm thinkin' to myself that's crazy. Who in their right mind would leave a kid alone all by hisself near a busy street like that? So I'm walkin' to the cart and I'm keepin' an eye out for the parents, y'know, maybe they're nearby and I can tell 'em where their kid's at, 'cause I don't wanna see the kid get hurt or nothin'. But, I don't see no one nowhere and I'm lookin' everywhere. And then it happens. I still can't believe it, it's like a movie goin' slow-motion over and over in my head, I can't stop it. You sittin', honey? Awright.
The ball bounces on the curb and goes into the street, and the kid just goes into the street after it, don't look both ways or nothin'. Just goes right into the street. And the light's changin, and the cars are startin' to tear down the street, right at this little kid. And... I don't know. I just reacted, like an instinct, like I said before. I ran after the kid. Just dropped everything and ran. I ran down to the street, into the street, grabbed the kid by the arm, and pulled him outta the way just as this Chevy Nova was gonna plow into him. Guy didn't even see the kid. If I wasn't 'round, kid would've been roadkill. And all I was thin' to myself was, y'know, what if that kid was my kid, huh? I mean, I don't want that to happen to anyone's kid, but what if that kid was mine? And I just ran after him, on instinct, y'know?
(Beat)
Lemme tell ya, I didn't need no coffee no more. I was so wired I could run a marathon. Kid was fine, though. He didn't even know what was goin' on. I asked if he was okay, and all he could do was stare at the street, lookin' for the ball. But he was fine. And, all of a sudden the broad with the suit runs over to us and asks if we're okay. I couldn't say nothin', but I nodded, and she says they got the whole thing on tape and they wanna do a story on it, right there, right now. Serious, honey, they wanted to do a whole news story on me and the kid. So Camerahead comes back and they test their equipment and whatever and then this broad's just asking questions and stickin' that microphone in my face. And I couldn't unnerstan' a thing she was sayin', the whole thing's playin' over in my head, so when the mic comes, I'm just like, “Uh huh... mm hmmm... “, and like that, y'know? So she asks a bunch questions and we get done, and the broad thanks me and calls me a hero. I said getouttahere, but she said no, that I'm a real hero. I ain't no hero, the kid was just lucky. But she asks my number and tell me they want me to come on their morning show later this week. Y'know, that Four in the Morning? They wanna talk to me on live TV. Can you believe that? And everyone watches that show. I'm gonna be a celebrity. Then she gives me her card, tells me to watch the six o'clock news, tells me to keep in touch, and then they take off...
Yeah, I'm gonna do the show. I gotta take a day offa work, but I'm gonna do it. An opportunity to be on TV don't just fall in your lap. And we gotta tell everyone to watch, tell 'em I'm gonna be on TV. I'm gonna be famous!
The kid? No, the kid's fine. No one could find his parents or nothin', but the police came by and they took the kid and said they were gonna help him, so he's gonna be alright.
Oh, I gotta tell you what happened next. This is great! So the crew's gone and everything died down and I'm just standin' there dazed 'cause all this stuff just happened, and I just start wanderin' over by the cart, 'cause that's the last thing I was doin' before the kid and everything, and the guy at the cart says he saw the whole thing and he gives me a hot dog with everything and a Coke for free. So I gotta free lunch outta this. And another guy standin' at the cart says he saw the whole thing, too, and he gives me a card and says I can have free dry cleaning for life, whenever I want. So I'm already doin' the celebrity thing now. And all the guys at the site were congratulatin' me and pattin' me on the back, tellin' me what a good job I did, and they all pitched in, and I didn't have to do no more heavy liftin' for the rest of the day. So, yeah, it's been a real amazin' day. Yeah.
Thank you, honey. I'm proud of me, too, but I was just doin' what anyone would've done in that situation. I just didn't wanna see the kid get hurt.
(knock at the door) 'Scuse me, honey. (walks over to door and opens it) Johnny! Hey, man, how ya doin'? You see that? Jesus, it's been an excitin' day. I gotta tell ya all about it.
(End.)

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